Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you never un-have a 4some
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
