I'm jealous of your bromance
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
