i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
