It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
