My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
tell me about the eggs
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize