and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
