also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
