you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
