he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
