i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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