look no pants
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
