i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
