Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a hot homeless man
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
