hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There r osticjed everywhere
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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