i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
