I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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