i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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