talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
