I seem to have left my pride at pride
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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