Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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