Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
