one might say we're banned from that church
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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