We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
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