How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
