I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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