he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
