I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
