yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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