if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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