All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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