i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
