last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
