My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
