You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
