is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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