That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm like, not good at living.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
