is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
