I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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