I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
