I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize