DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How external is "for external use only"?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
