I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
