The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
love makes seman taste better
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
