His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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