am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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