hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
