how can u be prego again
farters have to be the big spoon...
this boner is exhausting
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize