Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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