i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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