Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
two words: eviction party
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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