I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You took a bar mat shot.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
