We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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