I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
