you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
