In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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