Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize