her vagine was all disorganized.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
