I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
