I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just googled if crying burns calories
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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