I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
