i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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