In the future we'll all be gay
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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