I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
