Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
