its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Weβre leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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