Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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