Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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