No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize