I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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