Porn is love you can see.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
