We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
