We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
