using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
