wakey wakey hands off snakey
i barfeds in our rink
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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