last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
