I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
