My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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