I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
